Chapter 13: LET
IT BE
Years ago, I used to work for a timber camp in Tingkayu, Kunak, and I
liked to watch the glimmers from lights of other afar camps. At least in
darkness when looking afar, we saw lights though very faint. Similarly years
before when I worked for the Chok Brothers at mile fifty-two Kalabakan, I
experienced a similar case but those glimmers must had come from villages in
Indonesia. These gave me some hopes since I was working in kalabakan, my
daughter Siti Juliana attended varsity; and working in Tingkayu my son also
managed to enter varsity and both later graduated. Again, I did worked in the
plantation years later and again saw the glimmers from lights from a far away
camp, and whereby my second daughter later enter varsity. All around working in
camps, we used to be surrounded by either dense forest or oil palm trees and so
dark at night when there is no moon and one could hardly find the way to anyway
except going around in circles.
All these years I have been
travelling around and moving from places to places, just to earn a decent
living so that my children could get education. And in working on the family
heritance claims, I often travelled up and down Kota Kinabalu, Tawau, Labuan
and Sandakan. So finally, the pieces come together and now I am tired.
Throughout I learned that some relatives never change in attitudes and styles
from generation to generation; what a pity.
This year 2014 Hari Raya, we as
a family spend ours in Kuching; the first phase of my final journey which began
with a long drive. For all intends and purposes I took the opportunity to ask
for forgiveness. There was a time my tears dropped heavily and some thought I
was just play-acting in a drama. No, they got it wrong, and they realized
nothing. On the way back from Kuching to Kota Kinabalu, I did stop by to visit
many of my relatives in Lawas, Sipitang, Pimping and even in Lumut, Brunei to
say, “Hello”, to an old friend, Daniel Wan. No body took me serious.
The second phase of my journey
is from Kota Kinabalu to Lahad Datu, and Tawau where I tried to close the
inheritant claims, and also to pay respect and asked for forgiveness. Here,
there were many fingers pointed at me and many unwarranted words and unbecoming
were directed at me. So, I did not pay respect to the graves of my ancestors or
set foot on any of the places I inherited. Perhaps this is fate, let it be, for
I did not lay a finger nor taken what is not mine.
The third phase of my journey
was to Labuan where I did managed to visit relatives and friends and also the
graves of my mom and dad, as I did in Sipitang (Nek Salleh) and Lawas (Nek
Ganti), but Nek Ganti grave again was not visible. Maybe I am not worthy.
Seeking forgiveness is a must while we are still alive, is my stand.
At this point in time, as I se
it, many underestimated me, maybe because I am so simple and a common side-walk
person and so many had taken advantages of me. Some will say that I took advantages
during the inheritant claims that I excert my influence, and I tend to take
advantage; whatever, for I did not lay a finger nor point, no taken what is not
mine. But I am thankful, for many times I set foot in the dawn in Tawau, I
would first get a pack of cigarettes, then walk to the nearby mosque to pray;
for my works to be done in a simple manner, and to pray for me and my wife,
friends and relatives to be able to perform the Haj. It has been my practice
ever since. Alhamdulillah, works came to an end. For whatever and whoever my
relatives are not satisfied with, it is their rights; let it be, it is all fun
to me and let time tells. But a little advice here, those who will carry on
with my works will have to be vary of relatives especially from those cousins
from Pg. Hatta and the late Pg. Hashim especially their in-laws and one by the name of
Roslan Bin Ali. From the Syariah point of view they tend to inherit nothing but
because there were among the elders they tend to exert influence. They however
are of course my cousins, let it be. Me and my
children and decendents will no longger be involved, enough.
When I paid my respect to Kak
Asiah (Kak Geok) in Sungai Bedaun, Labuan, she told me that our late
grandfather, Hj Drahman @ Hj Abdul Rahman had other decendants in Labuan, and the
descendants are those of the present Yang Berhormat and among others, those of
the late Dr Hamdan Bin Mohamad. I am not sceptical, since my late great grandfather Hamzah bin Khamis and his wife were buried in the Muslim Cemetery
at Tanjung Keramat. These descendants could possibly be from that of his other wife. I
could not pay respect to my cousins especially Kak Dg. Maznah Mouzzni and even
did not set foot on my late mothers house, but paying respect to my Aunt Aisah
in Pimping is a must and this phase of my final journey ended as I reached
Kepayan, Kota Kinabalu, I leave behind books of memories.
Due to my age and tight
schedules, I could not do any in depth research of the Labuanites as I promised
to an old friend Peter Lee that I would write something of them. How to be
called a Labuanites is not the issue, I suppose, but here I am referring to
those who spend times in Labuan from their childhood especially during the late
colonial era and during the early independent days, and who went to one of the
three schools, GES (SMK), St. Anthony or the St. Ann.
There were many seniors before
me. Tony Lamert who even recollect the cendol seller, of course he must have
referred to the Hassan’s father who used to sell his cendol at the small wharf
near the main central market facing across the water villages of Babuloh and
Patau-Patau. The other cendol seller was Hup Ping’s farther who used to have a
stall near the Liberty wharf. Both were good cendol and only ten cents at that
point of time.
Peter Lee and Daniel Wan were
those whom I know little about, I guess they must be ‘kaki-bangku’ and
low-profiles like those Anuar Mansor, Charlie Mohamad and many others. Of
course I remember Koh Chin Kian, Talochan Singh, and his brother Ranjit and his
other brother Dilbagh a sportsman like Abdul Rahim, Hassan Sani, Zainuddin
Wahab and another Olympian sprinter (Ahadiah Jamil’s brother in-law). Koh Chan
Lee, Hj Parno Wangso, Robert lee, Anuar Nordin, Azman Abdal, Ghani Paijan are
those who knows ‘life’.
Of course, there were beauties
like those of the Kurniajil sisters, Zain sisters, Doris chin, Chua Soi-Soi,
Roslin Chew, Stella, and another Doris and not to forget the ever green Doreen
Tai and Aini Mohamad, Tan Siew Choon, Koh Liam Hua, Jenny Lee, Asiah Sulaiman
and the list could go on. Some whereabouts are unknown and I hardly remember
their faces.
The best part is most
Labuanities leave the island at one time or another, and some never come back,
while others did come back and finally settled on the island. Some did pay a
visit to the island like me but never stayed long as I liked to say “melawat
jerat ja”. Perhaps some left the island in search of adventures and greener
pastimes, and also may be trying to find out what is beyond the horizon like I
used to say, “chasing dreams”. I remember my old Segama
friend Barrak used to say, “Jika sudah terminum air Segama, Pasti balik ke
Segama”. And I used to joke with him and said, “ saya ta minum air Segama
tapi air Televas, yang saya tewaskan”. There many Labuanities, who are proud
that they see the world and they hold that spirit and most important of all the
spirit of friendship.
The final phase of my final
journey is to begin soon. The most difficult I should say and for reasons known
only to me, I may not survive, but whatever Allah has been good and kind to me,
perhaps other than knowledge, experience, and answers I am looking for peace as
I hope if ever I survive, I like to move on and the name Said Basman I say
should stay forgotten among from those of my mother’s side.
‘Let It Be’ the the title of
this chapter reminds me of the song sang by the Beetles, I like it just like I
like to hear the song ‘Berita untuk kawan’ with lines….. ‘perjalanan ini, rasa
sangat menyedihkan, seperti janji……ooouu… Barangkali di sana ada jawabnya….
