Chapter 9: Life Must Go On And On

Whenever there is a beginning there should be an end, but a question does not necessarily is solve by an answer. I am no doctor and I could not diagnose a sickness, and I do not even know how to differentiate the symptoms. Rain or shine, sick or well, busy or not, time will always be there though the available years will be lesser and lesser for me. Will there be any more writing after this? I hope so. Right now, I will spend more time to wrapping things up, built up my little garden world and attend to the weddings of members of my families and friends. So the family keeps on expending and as a senior (orang tua) my place always is there.

            The way I am should not be question or debated. In the old days I like to dream to be a lawyer (Like Marcel Jude) and or be a Seaman (like Captain James Lee or the late Captain Reuterns ) and be a gangster like Vincent Yong who rank as a shingko but unfortunately I end up being a pensioner. Nothing bad I guess as a matter of expression. I have all the families especially my own family and friends supporting me, what more do I want.

            I read a lot of writings including those of Tun Dr. Mahadir Mohamad though I never did completed reading his ' Malay Dilemma ', and I read ' Looking Back ' written by the late Tunku Abdul Rahman Al Haj. I like his language, soft and comfortable. I did read the writings of the late Datuk Abang Yusof Putih where my father-in law name was mentioned. These writings did give inspirations to me in one way or another, but the person who is responsible for the greater part of the lay out of this writing is my old teacher Mr. Lee Torvi. But by far I am still a novice in writing.

            When I was a small boy my parents home got 'attap' roof, and there was a mosque close to where is our house, also with 'attap' roof. When the rain came, there were leaks here and there and we had to gather the rain drops using pails or tins. I liked to hear the sound of the beatings of the Beduk- Dok, dok, dok... , followed by the call to prayer. Now after more than fifty years, I hardly heard those sound coming from the beating of the 'Beduk' anymore, and I hardly seen any of it, not even in small villages in Sabah or places I had gone to, except from the beatings of the drums from those of the Chinese Lion dances. Time past things are left behind and forgotten, but whatever, perhaps the old days were far more better off. Now, the new generation is taking over, and as a pensioner I rest to wait for my time, and just passing it, without any exception or choice, and as I follow, many of my old friends had gone, with those remains are far away with their own life just like my children.

             The life of the 'bangau' is far better off, moving around from season to season and finally disappeared somewhere. It got wings to fly and could land anywhere and spend nothing unlike mankind. Life should be made simple like that of the 'bangau' a seabird which could easily adapt itself to the shallow waters of the seashores and paddy fields, and immune to developments. Traditions and cultures should stay or else we have little left except for memories.

~END~

Chapter 8: Epilogues

I never dreamt of writing this autobiography, but as I see it among the Malay traditions, few literature s are kept regarding ancestors roots, so after three or four generations, their ancestors’ names are erased and forgotten. In writing these, I hope others of my descendants will help to complete and ratified. The following episodes will perhaps helps to capture the picture:

Episode 1: A matter of opinion  

Writing is not one of my hobby, but gardening is, as the works associated with gardening tends to yield beautiful and colorful garden and more of in an arranged manner. Once I wrote I cannot undone or erased to forget. With plants those that do not bear fruits or flowers, I can just pull them like weeds. But this is a weakness. The absent of a written literature serve no evidence to be believed, like the case of Hang Tuah; his hikayat perhaps is more of melodramatic and fiction rather then as part of history. But this is the Malay way, which should not be questions, just like answers are just one’s interpretations of opinions. Like this writing, is not a subject matter for debate, but an attempt to record and to be ratified by those relevant.

            I often asked my self whether I can be called a Malay. In our Federal Constitution there is no such recognition; as in my case because of my origin. I am more Brunei than Dusun or Kadazan and as I do not speak their dialects either. So we are outside the definition of being native, since Brunei is not part of Malaysia. So in my opinion, political boundaries and definitions should not apply here, since we are going to be segregated in many fields. My forefathers left us a lot of inherited properties, but should our decedents dispose them for quick gains then eventually we have no place to go except to ramble around and this is an experience on my part.

Episode 2: Looking Back

Most Bruneis (Sabah Origin) tend to settle along the river estuaries, perhaps making life easier for them to harvest the sea or perhaps because of their nature of being sea-wanderers, who like adventures. They even practiced marriage among close relatives. But this ways are no longer promising. The old saying is, “menjadi katak di  bawah tempurung”. The other local practice or belief of ‘living life to fate’ is no longer should be taken seriously and so is practice of performing ‘kenduris’ which are more wasteful then bringing good. Praying is a must and there is no necessity to offer or celebrate by having big feasts.

            Everybody have his or her own childhood story. How beautiful or colorful, I do not know but whatever the story is worth telling. Mine is from being broke not poor, and the struggle is worthwhile. Everybody dream t too, though not always, and mine, I have achieved. Education is one way to help achieve dreams and to get away from being poor. Like it, this is priority for my children.

Episode 3: The Career

I could stay in the civil service and still could be working right now, and with the new ruling will be working until reaching the age of sixty. I could be in a very high position base on my background and education, but then again because of my style, I could end up nowhere. And I could have been buried then or spend time in some other institutions for disable. I guess I made the right decision of leaving the service early, as I had achieved more things then I could while in the service. Most of all apart from the experiences I gain respect and as I walked the streets on short pants, sandal, and t-shirt anywhere all walks of people seldom dared to look at me in the eyes.

            No harm or offense intended will always be my simple way. Negotiation is better than to enforced as there is always another choice, even if we tend to choose the wrong path.

Episode 4: The Search Continue

My forefathers from my paternal side migrated from the state of Brunei Darulssalam, and settled here for more than five generations. Even my grandma from my paternal side migrated here from Brunei Darussalam about a hundred years ago.

            I tried to trace back her origin and there after managed to lay my feet’s in her village of Kampung Burung Pingai, where my search for her descendents from her paternal side end. She was a loner, with her real name ‘Norhayati Binte Ahmad’. In Sipitang she changed name to commonly known by Dang Ganti. I assume, from my search, she had no brother or sister from the same mother and father. Aminah or Minah I presumed as the wife of the late Osman and who later persued her to Membakut, but later probably resided and rest in Kg Gadung, Beaufort under the care of Imam Matali. Or perhaps she came to Sabah in search of her daughter Dang Ganti.

            But I am looking and seeking decedents of the brothers and sisters of Ahmad (Osman) his surname, this is the gap and perhaps readers could help me and let us document this,and also the descendants of other siblings of my great grandpa's wife. She was known to be mute and of a Brunei Tutong origin (Kadayan ethnic). As I set feet in Kampong Burung Pingai, I realized that the scenario is much similar to many Kampung Ayer in Sabah, and we do speak the same dialect. So much time had passed (over a hundred years) and very little changes. So my daughter Siti Juliana come back to the country of origin, ‘Alhamdulillah’. Perhaps my ancestors began to settled in Sipitang and the surrounding areas around the year 1846 or thereafter that year. 

            From my maternal side, I manage to be part of the community as I traced the relatives back to my grandma Kampung Terawi. I am the second cousins to a great many, even as uncle and grandpa. Most of them still as they are for generations, full of customs and traditions and together from  my Brunei, and my wife's family whose roots are from the Hokien and Fook Cho we form a very big and diversified family. I do not believe in segregation as by segregation we tend to divide and rule. This should not be the way.

            How do we identify our self then? I suggest we go by clans. So we should have those from the Lakuna clan, the Bogok clan and me from the Hapipah (Latahim) clan as we are more associated with the Brunei Dusun, but we are still from the same background and interrelated either through marriage or blood or through adoptions.

            It is not out of context here if I am to highlights of my wife roots. Mother Hajjah Esma Eyaw is not of Iban but of Chinese origin, of the Hokien community with the original surname of HO, a very small group, with the same surname in the community. But as I watch it during Hari Raya first day in Kuching, their numbers coming to celebrate Hari Raya with us keep on growing. From pa Haji Masri family outlook, the scenario is similar to my own father the surname last only one generation, and to the second generation it will be erased which is a common Islamic practice of ‘tidak mengagungkan’. Pa Haji Masri Hj Lee (Hj Ali) was born in Simunjan from families who hold the hereditary title of ‘Abang’ and perhaps his ancestors hails from Kalimantan. But judging from his style and versed with the Quran he must have come from a family who practiced the ‘Sekolah Pondok’ or ‘Pasentran’ where in modern ere such schools diminish in numbers.

            So finally, after years of work and after years of searching; when ever there is a beginning, there must be an end or just a pause. I could not go on searching the roots of my ancestors in Brunei, for fear of the saying 'Hidung ta mancung pipi surung-surung'. The Brunei’s are proud people, because their country is rich, and so is Sabah at one time if not for mismanagement and the plundering by politicians, bureaucrats and corporates. At the point of this writing, we are clearing the inheritance claims of the properties left behind by my mother and my grandma. These are part of the properties left over from their father Hj. Durahman bin Hamzah, and what is left from the Karim estate. The Karim estate is to my opinion destroyed because of greed, mismanaged, snobbish and arrogant attitudes. If these features could be overcome, to build it up again is not impossible. It is said that inherited properties could only last for three generations. The first generation work to build them, then the second generation collects, and finally the third generation spend them. The other factor which led to the destruction of the Karim estate is 'trust' which in this case could possibly referred back to the then administrators. It is said and written (sabda Rasulullah) “Apabila sesuatu Amanah itu, diberi kepada orang lain maka menunggukan kehancuran sahaja”.

Episode 5: Whispers of The Heart

At the point of writing this episode, I have yet to spend time correcting my written English in the many chapters and episodes of this blog. I am rather rusty and I have to tender my apologies. I suddenly realized that in the search of my family descendents (Brunei half), I am only equipped with:

1. Memory of the name Dang Ganti, Salleh bin Daim;
2. The name 'Tuah Lenggang';
3. Rumah Bumbung 12; and
4. My prayer and motivation

The day, the 28^th of May 2013, our final day in Brunei after years of looking and coming in and out of B.S.B, part of my search for my paternal descendants comes to light. My last visit here (December of 2012) was to pay respect to Hjh. Jana bte Hj. Omar whose phone contact was given to me by Tengah Ag. Besar bin Ot Maidin. But due to poor timing, I could not met her but eventually I manage to meet some of her twelve children, and one of her son in law was Pangeran Arifin, one of her daughter's husband. Fortunately Tengah Ag. Besar's brother Tengah Buntar was around to give details of the story of grandma Dang Ganti who is his auntie and by look of it we come from the same root. My grate, grate, grandfather Osman and their grate grandfather Yussof are brothers. With the family tree adjusted the line from my Brunei half and that from of the Sabah of from Dang Ganti is finally in the picture. The other part is still illusive Nek Salleh's descendants, and that of from my mother's father Hj. Durahman bin Hamzah.

However, the bridge has been conected and I have to be thankful to the family of my late auntie Hjh. Jana bte Hj. Omar and the family of Nek hj. Maidin, to his sons and families in Kuala Mengalong and to my daughter Siti Jualiana, my search is made easier “Alhamdulillah”. I must in this writing for only reasons known to me, pay salute to Pangeran Ariffin, this must be a very big Brunei family, as we are forth cousins, but I see very few elders around.

As we could not come back to the days that passed, I have to follow my heart to find out the layout of the extend of my root. I met my other part of my root in Brunei of my paternal grandma, then there is that of my paternal grandpa and that of my maternal grandpa, both also of Brunei origin. This is just not out of my own curiosity but I should say as a part time adventurer hobby. But I have to be honest that for all intends and purposes it is not in my heart to show off, be snobbish or to glorify. I guess somebody must do this and who knows these could be useful.

Mum's Roots

My Brunei Half

Dusun Half 2

Down: from left to right; Marcus Jonioh, Aunty Kuis, Charles Jonioh, Rashid Basman.

Up from left to right ; Eddie Jonioh, Azlan, Mody, Khalid and Said Basman, Masius Jotikol, Rusni Basman, Arispin
                                                              

Chapter 7: Our Community

I was not born to a rich or spoon fed family. Often we used to be broke but never poor. My maternal family used to own town and country lands in Tawau and Sandakan and a few pieces still remains. My paternal family remains a mystery, and over the years my family has grown into a large community. But those days in late fifties and in the sixties money were not readily available. I used to remember that I managed to ride the buffalo cart filled with coconuts from mile two Apas road, Tawau to kampong Karim. The Chinese used to call this place Karim par and like English spoken people called it Karim estate, but it all means the same. The coconuts were then processed and turned to be sold as copra to china man who years later become very rich.

    My maternal grandma was a Dusun convert and hailed from kampong Terawi, Penampang. Surprisingly, we still hold inheritance property there, but forbidden to be pursued by my grandma. I still remember her saying to me “Tuntut saudara boleh, tuntut waris tak boleh”. I was too young to understand, and what she said did make sense. Those who depended on inheritance are lazy people. Inherit-ant makes people forget and hate others. My maternal grandpa was born as a hard working but I never saw him as he passed long before I was born. They used to say his ancestors were from Brunei and he had a total of seven wives, spreading all over Sabah. I could only traced his whereabouts from Labuan where perhaps my great grandfather and great grandmother were buried, at Tanjong Keramat.

       My paternal family had ancestors from Brunei, and had been migrating and living in Sabah (then North Borneo) for many generations, and I am the third, my children the forth, but ever since, “I am digging those mysteries”. The Bruneis used to practice using a form 'common names' so as the names of their ancestors tend not to be forgotten. But this may led to confusion. Time passed and as we aged many thing will be hard to remember. We will then have a jig-saw puzzle to solve if not a cob-web. I had and will continue to attend family and friends weddings, and in most cases marriage among members or relatives are quite common. So the trend is going round the community, and I say “of the same breed.”

           In the search of the origin of my paternal ancestors, I managed to set my steps on the walk-ways of Kampong Burung Pingai Ayer in Bandar Seri Begawan, Brunei Darussalam. It was said that Dayangku Ganti (Nurhayati) Binti Pangeran Ahmad hailed from this water village and also possibly of my grandfather, Salleh (Nek Salleh) Bin Pangeran Daim. I was told they were either cousins or Nek Salleh was her uncle. Nek Salleh was of Brunei tutong, (from her mother's side). Grandma Dang Ganti(resting place in Lawas) as she was formally known in Sipitang, was the granddaughter of Pangeran Dato Osman. Her mother name was Aminah (resting place in Gadung, Beaufort). Not much is known about Nek Salleh (resting place in Sipitang), except he had another brother name Mustapha (resting place in Labuan). Grandma Dang Ganti migrated to Sipitang perhaps according to my estimation in the late 1800 at the age of fifteen, and probably then met and married my grandpa Nek Salleh. The reason for this migration was unwritten in any form and I say “let it stay that way”.

          I set steps together with part members of my family on the walk-ways of Kampong Burung Pingai Ayer with not the intention of claiming any position but simply, to satisfy my self that after all the search I did trace the origin here, and that I just want to make known to the descendants (if any around) of the clan that we come from the same Root. So many things and so many people had expired and forgotten and in these documentations, I intend to keep the medium and channel open to collect and piece together the missing parts and thereafter provide the conduit to search and forge again the ‘silaturahim’ among members of the clan (unnamed yet), ‘Alhamdulillah’.

            It is never for intends and purposes that I want to establish a claim for a place in the clan, nor do I intend to seek any glory or gain, but simply to document our existence being the other part of the clan. Readers are free to criticize, comment and challenge in what so ever, whatever form and feel free to direct them to me. With these I will say end my search for this part here, but wait; for my instincts restrain me going further. Those descendants  whom I will face on the one part of the line thereafter will not be from the common but who have standings and who bear the characteristics of the clan. It will be said that my footsteps and humble present had echoed throughout the Kampung Burung Pingai Ayer and Darat especially to members of the clan. A common person had come over suddenly, out of somewhere but now here with whose name had been long forgotten, but with and still have many called names emerged at times permitted. The search from this side briefly stop also and ‘InsyaAllah’ there will be a faced up, where amid any commotions there will be silence. Let it be. It will be understood that my syle is different. I will be seen and appear whenever I want to be so, similar to some Chinese who regard me as ‘Lau San Cho’.

            My relatives on this side are of no common people, as even the boat man who took us to Kampung Burung Pingai Ayer was very much surprised to see hairs of both of my hands tend to stand up. The night before, I had a dreamt of a face, and the year after when I intended to drive to Kuching and stoped at Bandar Seri Begawan while performing Maghrib' prayer another face did show up. It is said that this practiced is quite extraordinary and mostly practiced restricted to the members of the clan, who are familiar with the knowledge of 'Ilmu Wajibalujud' or in modern Islamic term 'Ilmu Tasauf' and this is of the higher level. I remember my late father did used a similar approached. At times and speaking from experiences even the graves of my father and his parents are difficult to locate, but they are right in front of me.

            Over these years, I made so many journeys from Kota Kinabalu to Kuching, a very long of over one thousand four hundred kilometers and passing through so many turns. Full of excitement, the family like driving. Just like when we were living in the United States where we covered more than twenty-six states. I will continue to drive and stop over in Brunei to visit my daughter as she is working there as a consultant engineer, and furthermore I like 'nasi katok'. Kuching is a fine city but I fear I will visit it less as I do not count to over-visit so to say forget the rest of my family and this is unwanted.

Chapter 6: The Reunion

Looking back, I realize that all these years of wondering around from places to places, and from job to job must have got me to somewhere where I should spend the rest of my life. The search for adventures will finally have to come to an end. All those years that passed by, seem to have happen just like yesterday. Time past so fast and I remember this very well now but had never taken it so seriously. A doctor who used to treat me for malaria at the Tawau General Hospital, with whom I was talking with as he was curious to know about how a man with my background landed in the hospital. We spoke at length of our wondering around. To him, he was concern of his patients where ever. Time that passed was the essence of our subject especially with regard to life, and he finally summed up by saying, “time flies”. So many years passed, and I never met him again then, and I survive.

What would I do if there are more years left ahead of me? Probably nothing much, as I am already burnt out. But it does not worry me, since time to me now is just a matter of space denotes by numbers so we can acknowledge the hours, days months and years. A space where we moved around and had fun, and I never want to look back and regretted.

More than thirty six years had passed since I left the island. I did not just left my childhood friends behind but my family.  Not only did both my parents passed away on that island, but so were many of my friends. I did come back to the island once a while but rarely did I meet my friends. We had grownup now and something must have changed. So I long to go back to the island and meet those friends and relatives whom I left behind. This could be fun since I last set foot on the island almost three years now.

The opportunity came where my classmates organized a school reunion at the 11^th of January 2009. I contacted one of the organizers by the name of Donald Wee Sim Haw, a familiar name when he called me back and ask who I am, my reply was, “Ever heard the name of Said Basman?” and he replied back, “Of course, its been a long time, but good to get you”.

Came the 10^th of January, me, my youngest son and my wife who was also very excited set off on our way to the island. It was a smooth drive all the way to the jetty at Menumbok, where I meet an old teacher, and an old friend Mr. Johnny Teo (late) who was junior to me. Up on the ferry I keep telling my youngest child and wife of the nearby islands and fishing grounds. Soon the shore line of Labuan met our eyes. It has changed a lot over the years, and I never expected it. Tall buildings could be seen from afar, unbelievable, and quite a contrast from the days ever since I left the island.

On board we meet a few others old friends Omar Kadir, Rosalind Chew and the evergreen Jenny Lee, who since have move to reside in Kota Kinabalu. We spoke about nothing, but of the good old days and of our families, and our wondering around.

            As we set foot on the island, I noticed that Labuan had transformed itself from a sleepy town, into a very lively and modern one. Well once again I had the feeling of being a stranger here. After paying respect to my parent’s graves, we made our way round the town, and again meet old friends. Koh Chan Lee was the first I recognized as I fought with him in the old days. A good former South East Asian boxer now has white hairs, but not surprising, as we are now in our mid fifties. It took me quite sometime to recognize the rest as it has been so long. We even lost our way while visiting my late ‘guru’ family. But his children still recognized me as I was among the seniors still alive, I have no student as foretold by their late father.

            It was raining heavily and a little hard to find our way to the Dorset Hotel. As late comers, and as we entered the hall most people gave us the stare and my thought was as if they were staring at a ghost. I was lost as it took me quite a while to remember the names and faces. “Hai Said, where have you been all this while?” was what I heard from all around. “Good to see you again”. I was amazed as I shook hands with them and introduced my wife. I could only said “I am still alive”.

            These were tense moments and the organizers were lost to quiet us down. For once we were like children again and only our teachers looked aging. But our hairs change colours. Most have white hairs and some of the ladies especially dyed blond to look evergreen and with no offense intended I believe they have every right to do so.

I really admired the achievements of my old school mates. Some have become ‘tau-key’, opening up restaurants, constructions, barter trade and whatever and some have gone very far in their professional and Public careers, like Peter Ho who is currently station in Guyana and Lee Eng Lang who had since migrated to the United States and Ang Heng Thiam with his gang who migrated to New Zealand. Margarete is currently station in Jakarta. Awang Mulok who was a junior to me was once the Member of Parliament of Labuan. But whatever our standings are, I believe our prime times are over. Most of us are either retired or coming soon to be as there is none who is below the age of fifty and some have been conferred with ‘atuk’ or ‘nenek’.

When asked by Gregory Reuterns and Patrick, “what am I doing now?” My reply was simple “I am retired, completely retired and occupy my time with attending to my small garden”. “You are still a bit young to retire completely”, said Patrick. To this curiosity, and smiling I replied back “I have achieved my dreams. All this while it has been like chasing rainbow beyond the horizon. Now there is hardly energy left and there is no more desire to quest for an adventure. I just like to spend my time with my family and friends without any reservation”.

I did not expect to get a lot of attentions from old friends around. Perhaps I have been away too long and they must have somehow wonder whether I am still alive or perhaps those days I was one of those being feared. I noticed that everybody was in a good mood and I was completely lost while watching them. I did manage to take opportunity of greeting and meeting all my old teachers and some did remember me. Surprisingly this was the placed where we used to have our fifth Former Ball more than thirty six years ago, only with the building completely replaced by the hotel.

The brief moments we had together at that point in time was more of nostalgia and perhaps will be treasured by many in the years left available to us. To sum up perhaps Anuar Nordin comment was right, by saying, “lama ta jumpa, seronok betul, bila lagi nak jumpa begini tau”. We were the last few to leave the hall and with us we bring more memories and hope that somewhere in the future we may meet again. But in this modern time, sophisticated communication systems allow no barrier; just a touch can allow us to communicate with each other.

When dawn came, after our morning prayer, we said “goodbyes”, to my cousins, and all his families. We had to make our way back. We still had to stop at Pimping, Membakut to meet auntie Aisah for the last piece of information of my ancestor history and upon reaching Kota Kinabalu the journey end. Another day will begin and another plan for a journey, I do not really know but I always hope to have just not one but a few more. It keeps me alive, but whatever lies ahead is none of my business as I do not want to choose another path again. This path has been long and winding like that of a tree with so many branches and the road to glory and achieving material gains is not always pleasant to write, as often; I am lost in the quest as I always said to friends “I want to interfere with fate”. What is written could not be possibly unwritten and neither can I make any different in anyway possible. There are too many ‘ifs’, and at the end of the day I get passed on by people who took advantage, never again. The years that passed by had made me much more wiser and simple and perhaps my Chinese friends is correct in calling me ‘Lau San Cho’.

At this point in time when writing this chapter, the world is almost facing an economic downturn, where there is a credit squeeze and prices of goods and services go spiral-up, and Malaysian like the rest of the world began panicking. Probably interests are being affected. The stock markets all over the world experience the shares value of many corporate began to fall and Malaysian share market indexes painted on a piece of paper resembles like the hills of the Croker Range. So on paper some corporate rulers are roughly cut by half. Political and corporate leaders started to get jumpy because the Malaysian government and the politicians especially their cronies with the corporate firms may have vested interest.

Fortunately the Malaysian parliament and states elections (except Sarawak State) were hold in early 2008. If held much later the likely hood of a change in the central government is eminent. In general the lifestyles of the politicians of the ruling government and their policies are too versatile therefore are never prepared in facing an economic crises. The “yes-man” technocrats either have superficial knowledge, self interest, too beautiful and always paint colorful economics scenarios to please but ill-advice the political leaders and the general public. So not surprisingly as always was, and as in this case, Malaysian government leaders, and corporate figure do a lot of propaganda s backed by untested and glory seeking academicians to hide their panics. Their immediate step is to form a economic advisory committee to look into ways of handling our economy. And I think honestly this is a bad move, a waste of time and public funds. A committee which rarely meet and composed of members who have vested interests and ‘prophets of dooms’ will do more harm than good. If they are good we will experience a very minimum impact as a whole.

Looking back at the time when the price of petroleum jumped from about US40 dollars to almost hitting US150 dollars, the government and corporate leaders started to panic. The government started to voice out that they give subsidies for the general public consumption of petroleum and diesel etc. So they have no choice but to increase the price of petroleum products like gasoline, diesels etc; the only consolation to consumers with vehicles less than engine capacity of 2000cc would receives a maximum of RM600 as rebates for insurance and road tax but this is a shorterm solution. With the United States controlling the cartel of oil producers the price of petroleum will never reverse back to that of the eighties. The government and decisions makers realized that an increased in the price of petroleum products will definitely caused an increase to cost of another products and services. They even realized that savings will decreased within a short period because of the lost in purchasing power of the consumers who are slow to adjust to a new life style. This spiral price increase was suggested by those who ill-advised the government and I always called them ‘prophets of doom’. Like wise the government lost a number of states and has its majority in Parliament reduced.

Even till today, when the price of crude oil have drop down slightly, the price of petroleum locally have yet to drop to a very low level and so too are the consumer goods and services. In fact they tend to increase further, since the major cartels are controlling their supplies. The recent price increase in the price of crude oil has nothing to do with supply and demand but on speculations and is temporary because major producers like Iraq are invaded by the United States, and productions slowed, the Gulf States of America experienced natural disasters, and so too are the oil producing Arab States. The government at that time had several options available such as step-ladder or flexible method. A critical path analysis should had been done or may be  just ignored because of greed and the corporate leaders never lost money and they will benefits most.

In western countries and Japan, a person or persons responsible for causing economies shortfalls will tender their resignations because of ethics and professionalism. In Malaysia they are given immunity. So our economic system developed and there will be an imbalanced in incomes. Those effected will rise through streets protests and this together with political agendas will emerge as the main tool to gather a momentum to weaken the government.

The political scenario undergoes major changes both to the institution and structures. Major political parties from the ruling Barisan Nasional are rendered obsolete. To make matter worse they experienced the leadership crisis. Their system of leadership selections and candidates are no longer accepted by the general voters, but good enough for their own party. Voters are more matured though they do not necessary become members of any political party. Issues of personalities and principles and what they can do for the people are more important. The Sabah scenario is different since the federal manage to successfully apply the divide and rule policy. Furthermore the opposition lack of sound strategy, finance and logistics made it too difficult to make any inroads; but change will eventually come.

An economic crises can be predicted and weather out. Modern media and electronics system will make financial data available which could be studied interpreted and use for prediction and decision makings. As Malaysia is dependent upon trading and providing of services and supplies,, it must avoid a further inflationary increase to prices of transportation and there after allowing more savings by the consumers. There is nothing wrong with slowing down physical developments because the illegal migrants problem who form the supply non-skilled cheap labor, could at least be solved. Malaysian government protects mega companies, so we have a system of either monopoly or oligopoly rather than face enterprise. Just as monopoly, oligopoly is worse. They dictate the price of goods and services and since we have two Malaysia, that is West and East Malaysia. The East Malaysian states suffers worst in terms of cost of and of standard living. Let alone physical developments especially with regards to infrastructures.

So we have a problematic scenario, and the peoples are getting restless because of the economic and social imbalance and will eventually burst. Perhaps the time of the present government is numbered; out of control by the demonstrations and voices of the opposition. Demonstrations peaceful or otherwise are a common feature of a democratic system. Only authoritarian is  practical in China, Russia and North Korea who manage to minimize such incidents. I see the strategies used by the government to win the heart of the people are more of propaganda tactics rather than of solving methodology. They used every authorities even to the extend of involving religious institutions like the National Fatwa Council whose members are perhaps more of sectarian. I am of the opinion that the present governmental system had been rendered obsolete. Reformation will require drastic changes both in ideology and methodology, to change the present economic, social, government, and political system.

Chapter 5: A Point in Time

          I had to stop for a while; and I have to catch up again. I stopped writing because of the shock of losing an old friend, Mr. Chok Yun Lin who was in a way responsible in changing part of my lifestyle and thinking; and honestly he was responsible for supporting my children entering university.

            Now three of my children graduated from their universities. One, a daughter Siti Juliana is a consultant civil engineer and her younger brother is a building surveyor. Another daughter Siti Suharijan whom I used to call Jeng graduated with Degree in Marketing and Diploma in Property Management and I hope she can be a valuer. At this point of time she is doing Master in Business Administration in UTM Skudai, Johor. She is the first to break my record with a 3.86 GPA. I could only manage a 3.50 CGPA while doing my first degree but I am a “Magnacum” graduate and used to be honored as one.

            But whatever, I am no where in comparison to all of my family members in intelligent. My loving wife Joyita is too brilliant to point out. She corrects my English all the way. Don is too quiet. Perhaps when I am not around he will take over and show his colors. The most brilliant as I calculated should be Edy Johariyz who touch and played with computer since age six. I hope to see the best of him. But Eddie Zulkarnain is the one I feared; for a very good reason. He spoke few words and he will eventually walk a long way. Perhaps one day he will get his doctorate, and I will pray for him as I always do for my other children and those of my blood. To be a scholar is far better than to be a leader. But life is so difficult to be laid on a path as often the path have so many cross roads, and at times I like to use calculations to know how much I will make or lost. Those were the decisions I made but having different outcomes, but anyway all turned out as a wonderful and colorful life, with no regrets from my part.

Chapter 4: Life Goes On

These were the times where my children entered secondary school and there after began their collage life. I got burned out and there I look for premature retirement. I thought of doing some gardening while my wife tried the tailoring business. I got called out by a logging company, with a very ambitious ‘taukey’.

At the end of the day the ‘taukey’ and his brothers get richer and become millionaires while I got broke and had to sell my house to prolong the reminder part of my life. It was a miscalculation on my part and almost fatal to my family. In searched of adventure, I got lost and see little of my growing up children. There was no balance and less consideration.

Now it begins again now and then, I guess this feature is part of my life. We used to study history so as to study past events and understood them. Then we could try to avoid from making similar mistakes. But we have little control of our life.

Working on timbers as the common saying goes, “has its price”. Some paid with their lives. It is like being cursed. My late ‘taukey’ eldest brother as the story said lost his life while logging in Tinkayu, and my late boss lost his too while chasing his dream for a bigger timber area and he passed away due to heart problems. With luck one got fast money but at the end of the day may lost all, like leaves of trees, falling when they aged or due to changing weather.

“Whatever, easy come, easy goes”, as people used to say. Nothing is easy any way, and life must go on, and we make whatever changes necessary.

            

Chapter 3: Beginning of a Career

I first joined the Sabah State Civil Service towards the end of 1976. Since then another bit of my career began. That was then the beginning of the Berjaya era. Berjaya party defeated USNO in a state election. I was then posted to the Ministry of Manpower and Environment Development as an Administrative Assistant. The permanent secretary was Mr. Mohd. Tahir Jaafar who later went around to head a number of departments and carried along the Datukship title. He should be the State Secretary, but I think he is not born to be one.

It was an ambitious vision for the state government during that time to set up such a state ministry. It was far too abstract and wide and at the end of the day The ministry out live its original functions. Both manpower and environmental are under the jurisdiction of the Federal government, and furthermore we had not the expertise to plan and carried out works. It was just like a paper tiger attempt or perhaps then a political propaganda, just like giving authority over to the then minster (Datuk Yap Pak Leong) with something better and challenging to do.

Looking from hind side, however, all is not lost. Agencies such as the Sabah Tourism Corporation and Sabah National Parks have established themselves a strong foothold and far more developed then their pioneer days. The Sabah state civil service is by nature an out dated bureaucracy. Since I was studying in ITM, and thereafter I read more of the subject while I pursued my first degree and then my masters. Honestly I am not an expert in this field; it is more related to management than financial analysis which is more relevant for me.

However, disregarding all feelings, I like to approach this subject with an open mind and on a contemporary basis. The bureaucracy is an organizational system of interrelated functions. In this context we always refer to a government system, because of its non-profit motive and all agencies whether statutory, proper or otherwise all interrelated with regards to funds, manpower and politics, responsibilities and styles or attitudes.

In laymen term, the bureaucracy makes up the government machinery. Over years the functions and manpower increases dramatically following new policies of the government turning the whole system into a jungle and more of confusions. Perhaps it is better to examine the structure, functions, management styles, resources, tools, manpower and their environment. These very basic elements determine the efficiencies of the bureaucracy.

The basic organization structure of the Sabah State civil service resembles that of the pyramid probably not due to the needs but much more of specialization. The danger is the unnecessary expansion let to the disappearance of responsibilities. This is shown by the hierarchy, in presumed posts the civil service is headed by the State Secretary and at the lowest rank the laborers. Similarly, ministers, departments and agencies if grouped together they formed a hierarchy resulting that of a pyramid. This feature is normally open to abuse since there is no clear line of demarcation of responsibilities and authorities because of the inter-related functions and because a person can hold more than one positions.

It is normal to look at the functions synonymous with responsibilities. The functions of ministries department and agencies are normally outlines and define by statues, but it is normal to find overlapping jurisdictions and this is where we find interrelated functions.

Management styles are absent and the neglected feature of the state civil service. This may be due to having superficial knowledge of the subject, untrained and could not careless attitude, and not to forget the urge to go higher by way of “Angkat dua kaki”. Since the colonial days, Malay dominates The feudal system and become colonial servants. This may be due to their loyalty or ‘kesetiaan’ but this feature no longer persists since the chase for material gains and higher positions rocks the road.

Throughout my many years in the civil service I find it difficult to search for officers who cleared their desks from files or pieces of papers with letter-heads. They keep piling them up, perhaps showing that they are overworked, I once came across a head of department whom I served under, who liked to equipped his office with unnecessary number of cabinets, and later on I found out that he used to staked and divide the files and hide them there. Some are fond of attending meetings, courses seminars and private dialogues. This habitual is a disease of inferior syndrome. ‘Decision Making’ is always vested on the post and delegated by statute and not on other body, and  not on to a committee as they tend to be time consuming.

My first assignment was to design a statutory body with regard to Sabah Tourism Promotion Corporation, way back in the late 1976. I choose the horizontal over the pyramid feature as I like more decentralization rather than centralization. At the upper level the person in charge was designated as general manager and without a ‘deputy’ as I never like a hierarchy built up. I believe at that point in time and still is that some form of competitions and trust should be practice and this is healthy. Having a deputy would tend to place the officer next in line a secure position and this I believe is not healthy. Because should the top person retired, or out of the way, then there is a little to worry as no second person is to take over by way of certainty. Unless as in the civil service his position is not confirm. I was latter assigned to a unit to temporarily take over the functions after the corporation was freezed.

Later in the late 1979, I was transferred to the District Office Sandakan as an Assistant District Officer and my boss was Datuk Hj. Hassan Alban Sandukung. The short time I spend there was enough to give we some experience of district life, and years later, as I joined back the civil service again, I made no attempt to go back to this life. Life in a big town especially in Kota Kinabalu allow me to move around with my family and I place important to the education of my children. Though life in Kota Kinabalu is far more expensive then any other towns; I find time to struggle with the small paycheck to meet ends meet. Life is hard so as to say.

The general orders ‘Perintah Am Negeri Sabah (1980)” is to my opinion, though a rigid or Draconian extract is far too out-dated. It contains too many loop holes among others and in humane. Its interpretations are made by those who hear nothing and see nothing. Say if one get involved in an accident (like me), the general orders make no provision to compensate and make no mentioning of sympathy. The relevant rules that cover promotions in The Sabah Civil Service is left to interpretations and to be determined by the ‘inner circle’, if one may not get into the promotions ladder. There is no compassion and going beyond will be trapped by the corrupt provisions, not to mention the provisions of the Anti Corruption Act. But many officers live beyond their means and many did not get prosecuted, but protected. One could always find ways to justify the means. So promotions were slow for me.

Being familiar with organizations and management styles I then was assigned to separate the Hydraulics section from the State Public Work Department (PWD). Basically the PWD was becoming a massive organization with wide control over development and fundings. Setting up a Water Departments is necessary to look after the operations and developments of water supplies. In the long run it will be a feasible business. Its creation had never been intended to be privatized either in part or as a whole, because its organization structure is more of contemporary in nature and of a modern business organization and much less of bureaucratic. Year’s letter, changes were made to strengthen the enforcement function, but I see the impact is minimal. There must be total commitments and the management style must change to incorporate this. More suitable is that, of theory of that is a business culture must be top down. The idea is if it cannot make money then do away with their function to absorb it.

For more than ten years in the Ministry of Infrastructure, I become more of a jack of all trades. I did write a number of speeches, project papers and cabinet papers. But that was that, my attitude was not that of a ‘yes man!’ Perhaps this way why I was never given much consideration for promotions while my juniors climb the rank like running the steps.

Being transferred to the Land and Survey Department was a blessing in disguised. I was more of the disciplinary officer than a planner. Discipline in the department is like cancer in our body. Corruption in all forms is highly practiced. Officers top down to the lowest rank own lands here and there because they are in authority. Some disregard the kampong people and played them out. The irony is few get prosecuted, because they are never reported, and if they are reported, they would be protected by and top management top down, supported and protected each other. I guessed other departments, are the same too, and only on a matter of degree.

But before that, two of my best undertakings while in the civil service made me one of the most feared strategists. One was handling the compensation for the taking over of Sabah Electricity Board by Tenaga National. The other was the creation of Jabatan Air Negeri Sabah. A friend, a good lawyer Juprin Wong used to point me as a brilliant strategist; perhaps he is too modest and hopefully honest. Me, I am no body though being called with so many names; the ‘long hair’, ‘Juragan’ and so on, and not a point.

            In Malay “saya hanya umpama sebesar hama di lautan samudera”. Nothing special, I just happen to be in the right place but at the wrong time. I wake and live by my own principal, whatever.